Shitpost (TV series)/SMOKING WEED, ON PURPOSE!
SMOKING WEED, ON PURPOSE!' is the 13th episode of Shitpost's third season. Premise The gang begins to celebrate Weedmas Eve, but the tradition of binging ''Rick and Morty while stoned has to be put on halt for this year when it doesn't end up airing. Script (Open on: an outside view of the back window of the mancave. It zooms into the window, and it fades in on the gang getting ready to go down to the basement. SHANNON is seen marking a date on the calendar - April 19th.) '''SHANNON: (excitedly) Today's the day! Weedmas Eve! DARRELL: (deadpan) We know. PUPPYCORN: Wow, I cannot wait to smoke all this weed! Can't you, Richard?! RICHARD: (deadpan) Leave me out of this. PUPPYCORN: (shrugging) Suit yourself! (PUPPYCORN gathered his weed stash) ANSI: I so cannot wait to watch Rick and Morty™ tonight! SARALINE: Really?! Is THAT all you're excited about?! We're mostly here to smoke weed and play Fortnite! MASTER FROWN: Who said we were playing the Two Weeks Game on Weedmas Eve?! SARALINE: I did, pissbrat. MASTER FROWN: no u HAWKODILE: Nothing makes me happier than seeing that new Rick and Morty™ episodes are airing at midnight every night on Adult Swim. #NotSpon UNIKITTY: Hawks, you're the biggest Rick and Morty™ fan that I know! HAWKODILE: Thanks, Princess. I have a super high IQ now thanks to it! UNIKITTY: So cool! HAWKODILE: Time to go downstairs! PUPPYCORN: Let's get BAKED! (CUT TO: A shot of the gang going downstairs to the basement. It then cuts to UNIKITTY excitedly turning on the TV and immediatley changing the channel to Adult Swim, about 10 minutes before the Rick and Morty™ marathon airs.) MASTER FROWN: I am so PUMPED! ANSI: I can't wait to get schwifty! HAWKODILE: HELLA! (CUT TO: A timecard saying "10 MINUTES LATER" in comic sans.) UNIKITTY: IT'S TIME IT'S TIME IT'S TIME!! EVERYONE GET YOUR BLUNTS READY!!! ADULT SWIM VOICEOVER: (O.S.) We are sorry, but the Weedmas Eve Rick and Morty™ Marathon has been postponed. To make up, we're replacing it with an eternal loop of a complete buffoon doing orange justice! We hope you enjoy!) (CUT TO: A shot of the TV, which shows a looping clip of MASTER FROWN doing orange justice.) (EVERYONE stays in silence for about 5 seconds.) MASTER FROWN: ...Who the fuck is this goof?! (UNIKITTY and PUPPYCORN are hysterically laughing.) UNIKITTY: Frown, your dances are so good! PUPPYCORN: Look at him to! Super superb, you funky little doomlord! HAWKODILE: Frown! Teach me how to do orange justice! RIGHT NOW! MASTER FROWN: Fuck it. Since you've embarrassing me enough, I'm gonna go to the store and buy some Rick and Morty™ DVDs so this Weedmas Eve can be NORMAL like the ones before it. DR. FOX: Suit yourself. (MASTER FROWN shimmies his ass out of the room.) (EVERYONE looks at eachother.) UNIKITTY: You thinking what I'm thinking? (CUT TO: A timecard saying "5 MINUTES LATER" in comic sans.) (CUT TO: MASTER FROWN walking through the doorway to the basement, holding 10 Rick and Morty™ DVDs.) MASTER FROWN: Hey dumbasses, I'm back- (CUT TO: A shot of everyone sans MASTER FROWN doing orange justice.) MARCO: Oh, he's back! MASTER FROWN: Hey Marco, check this shit out. (he throws one of the DVDs to Marco) It's Rick and Morty™ in another language! (MARCO catches the DVD.) MARCO: Aw, sick! It's written in terrorism! (CUT TO: a shot of the DVD, which is written in Cryllic text.) MASTER FROWN: (O.S.) Nah, that's Cryllic, actually. (CUT TO: a close-up shot of MARCO smirking like a bitch.) MARCO: (smirking, echoing sound effect) Bueno. (MARCO pops the DVD in the DVD player.) MARCO: Ready to watch Rick and Morty™ in Terrorism? MASTER FROWN: IT'S CRYLLIC! (PUPPYCORN coughs.) (CUT TO: A shot of the Rick and Morty™ episode "Get Schwifty" playing, but in Russian.) RICK: (on TV) Просто нажмите кнопку, Морти! Дай мне удар! MORTY: (on TV) О человек, хорошо, ммм ... (MORTY pushes a button. Some music begins to play.) RICK: (on TV) О да! Тебе нужно быть спокойным! Вы должны здесь быть здесь! (CUT TO: A shot of MASTER FROWN doing orange justice to "Get Schwifty") DR. FOX: He's doing it again! (HAWKODILE does every Fortnite dance at the same time.) BROCK: I wish I could Fortnite dance, I don't even have legs! RICHARD: Neither do I. I don't have limbs at all. MASTER FROWN: Sucks for you. Get fucked. (MASTER FROWN takes the DVD out of the DVD player and throws it to the opposite side.) RICHARD: Master Frown will you please stop swearing MASTER FROWN: bitch dick shit cunt fuck cocksucker UNIKITTY: !aaronpaul MASTER FROWN: Now I'm gonna say something racist UNIKITTY: !nonooo MASTER FROWN: something racist PUPPYCORN: (O.S.) HEY EVERYONE CHECK OUT HOW HARD I CAN DAB (PUPPYCORN bursts through the door. He rushes to the center of the group and dabs so fast his arms fly off. DR. FOX is eating crackers from a plastic container she packed. She is munching, and there is a crunch noise. She is eating with her mouth open, teeth somehow perfectly clean. DR. FOX lets her jaw drop to the floor in pure shock.) DR. FOX: (shocked) HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN!? UNIKITTY: I'm crying and shaking I can't believe my little bro's arms flew off this is so sad Alexa play Video Game Lover Nightcore (10 hours) ALEXA: (O.S.) Okay, now playing "Video Game Lover Nightcore (10 hours)". MASTER FROWN: NONONONONO- (As the song begins to play, MASTER FROWN screams in agony and runs out of the room. After a 15-second dance party sequence, complete with everyone doing a Fortnite dance, MASTER FROWN runs back downstairs, still screaming.) UNIKITTY: (O.S.) What's wrong, Frown? MASTER FROWN: THIS SONG KILLED MY FAMILY AND STOLE MY CAR, THAT'S WHY. (CUT TO: A shot of the TV magically switching to the Pickle Rick scene from Rick and Morty™.) (CUT TO: PUPPYCORN, who just screams loudly and doesn't say anything.' '''He gestures at the TV and everyone nods. After screaming, he casually chugs a gallon of gatorade.) '''RICK: (on TV)' I turned myself into a pickle, Morty- (Before RICK can say "I'm Pickle Riiiiiick!" the episode shuts off and goes back to that clip of MASTER FROWN doing orange justice.) MASTER FROWN: Son of a BITCH. (MASTER FROWN throws the remote at the TV, breaking it. Everyone immediately heckles him for doing so.) SUSIE: Just wait 'til God gets back! FINK: Breaking a TV is a bad omen! You're gonna summon- (FINK is cut off by SATAN, JUNKO and HIMIKO rising from the floor, posing on a platform.) SATAN: Hey, fuckwads! MASTER FROWN: Well, fuck. Hey, Satan, don't you have some cocaine to snort? SATAN: (defensively) I don't do cocaine, I just like the way that it smells! Speaking of which, don't you have some meth to cook up!? MASTER FROWN: Actually, I'm under supervision from God and I can't make meth until the week before Christmas. HIMIKO: And I don't do heroin, I just like the way it makes me feel like I'm always on the verge of vomiting, and how it gives me chills and cold sweat every night! SATAN: Shut up, Himiko. HIMIKO: No u (SATAN scans the room.) SATAN: Well, looks like we don't have any shit of yours to fuck up, so y'all can have your dumb little weed tradition. Ta-ta for now! (SATAN, HIMIKO and JUNKO essentially do what they did when they entered the scene, but reversed.) (The episode immediately cuts to DARRELL'S point of view. He has clearly had too much weed. He begins to see the walls fall down and suddenly, the ALEXA sprouts limbs and a face. The view of the scene becomes distorted as it becomes clear that DARRELL is hallucinating.) DARRELL: Well howdy, Alexa! Mind playing Mine Diamonds for me!? ALEXA: Sure thing! (Suddenly, DARRELL and the ALEXA burst into the kitchen and "Mine Diamonds" starts playing in the background. DARRELL and the ALEXA begin dancing for a thirty-second long dance party sequence.) ALEXA: This is the best party ever! (RIPPLE EFFECT TO: DARRELL getting up off the kitchen floor. The scene is still from his perspective.) DARRELL: Where the heck am I? (DARRELL tiredly stumbles down the stairs like a drunk father coming to see his family. He sees everyone else laughing while watching TV.) SHANNON: Hey Darrell! You just missed the FUNNIEST Barney Bunch™ episode ever! DARRELL: Huh? (At this point, the scene is no longer in DARRELL'S perspective.) (CUT TO: The TV, which is playing the ending of "Drew Pickles and the Barney Bunch go to The Emoji Movie") (PUPPYCORN claps loudly whilist sobbing.) (At this point, the scene is no longer in DARRELL'S perspective.) DARRELL: Drew... Pickles? (FINK nods violently.) FINK: Drew Pickles is a comedic lord! HERB COOKIE: Shhh! The next episode is starting! (DARRELL joins the gang, and the scene zooms out to an outside view of the mancave. It pans up to the sky and shows fireworks, which create the image of PUPPYCORN dabbing, ending the episode.) Category:Stuff by PixelMiette Category:Shitpost (TV series)